Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
