Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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