how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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