im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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