I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
