Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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