Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
