i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
