i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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