I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
