No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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