We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
