8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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