We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
