The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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