He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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