What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
