I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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