What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
