Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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