I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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