Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
smell my finger.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
