Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
