He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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