nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
