i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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