I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
