Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
