Pants 0. Shit 1.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
