At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
