Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
