I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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