There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
