it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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