If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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