Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
