Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
