I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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