Duck Duck Cougar?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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