I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
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