i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
