Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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