I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
