Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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