one might say we're banned from that church
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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