when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
