oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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