Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This toilet bowl is my home.
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