I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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