I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
